Twenty-Something

Whipped Into Shape (Part 1)

2010-08-22T11:20:00.000-07:00

"'Cause size two clothes don't come to those too lazy to sweat!"

I never thought of myself as a particularly chubby person, to be honest, but I'm not healthy and that's a problem. I have gained a decent amount of weight in the past year or two and I'm working to get it off. Starting right now (well, actually yesterday, but...whatever).

Jess, over at Half of Jess, is starting a weigh-in challenge called Drop Dead Gorgeous by December and I'm into it. I'm especially into it because it focuses more on making you a better person and making you a healthier person than on being the skinniest you can be. I'm combining this with the rules of Bethenny Frankel's Naturally Thin book.

Here's why: I am entirely too young to be as unhealthy as I am. I would really like to make a change and what better time to start than now? I have three days off a week from class, so that's plenty of gym time to get in. My main goal is to be able to actually start running. I realize getting ready to do this by December is kind of stupid, but my college has an indoor track, so I can use that when Pittsburgh weather gets me down.

Once I get a scale (or find someone with Wii Fit), I plan on taking a picture (because part of Jess' challenge is taking positive pictures of yourself weekly) and weighing in. Yes, I said it. My weight for all to read. I am going balls to the wall to get this done and I have multiple support systems to help, including my dear momma, my friend from high school and fellow RA, Caitlin, our GA Chris, and now Jess and everyone else participating in Drop Dead Gorgeous by December. A support system helps, especially in making sure that you don't get lazy (like I probably will within like two weeks).

I'm very excited to start this and it'll be interesting to watch this attempt, especially living in a dorm and having a meal plan. There are healthier alternatives on campus, but...not too many. My two goals for DDGBD (which is also on Twitter, check it out) are to start running, like I said before, and to stop eating out as much (which will help save some money!). I'm a senior in college, I really need to start budgeting and worrying about money and going to grad school.

In other news, SORRY I've been so MIA. I started RA training and that owned my soul for the past two weeks. However, the rest of this building staff is FANTASTIC and it's been so much fun. I'm so glad that I'm surrounded by such great people. :)

Classes start tomorrow/Tuesday for me since I have no class MWF (WOO!). I can't believe summer's over already :( However, this is going to be the year, I can feel it. :)

******EDIT/UPDATE:******

So, here is the weight: 138 with clothes on as of about a half an hour ago. I hear you shouldn't weigh yourself at the end of the day and I have clothes on, so I'm really probs 135, but that's still a lot for being so short.

Ignore my awkward facial expression lol! Good luck to anyone else who's doing DDGBD! :)

"Whipped Into Shape" from Legally Blonde: The Musical; 2007

Stronger

2010-08-07T18:39:00.000-07:00

Here in this diary, I write you visions of my summer.

This Ataris song came on while I was driving to work this morning. It made me so happy and I found it very appropro given my thoughts on the summer and what's to come in the busy year.

Tomorrow is a monumental day. Not only am I moving in to my senior year of college (no, classes don't start already, I just have RA training), but it's the last night I'm spending in my house. I never particularly liked my house, but it's a little sad. My mom and my stepfather are getting a divorce. The end of a marriage is always sad, but to be honest, I'm a little relieved this is happening.

I was one of those kids that never entirely liked the idea of my mother dating someone, especially the older I got, because I'm a self-centered only child. To be frank. However, even though I was going to college fifteen minutes away from home, I knew it'd be hard on my mom (me, too, but I'm better at distracting myself). So, I was happy that this guy came along to keep her a little less lonely while I struggled through my freshman year of college. However, that's the only reason why I was happy she got married. Selfish, I know.

Now it's deteriorating because he's a douche and...if my mom were more upset, I'd be upset...and I know it'll hit her soon and she'll be sadder, but I really do think she's better without him. She wants to travel and get her Ph.D and maybe live in a different country for a while to teach English (she's actually probably doing this) and he just wasn't into it. Now she'll be able to come into her full potential. Eat, Pray, Love honestly couldn't come at a better time.

Oh, well.

In happier news, I FINALLY read The Hunger Games and Catching Fire, the first two novels in the fantastic Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins. Stop reading this immediately and go to Amazon.com and order them. While you're there, you might as well preorder the third and final novel, Mockingjay (due out at the end of the month), because you're going to need to know what happens next. I haven't been this involved in a story and a world since Harry Potter. And you've read my posts, you know how much I care about the world J.K. created.

They take place in a dystopian society where the evil government (called The Capitol) shows its control over the twelve surrounding districts by forcing each district (by pulling names from a lottery) to have one male and female tribute partake in the annual Hunger Games - a fight to the death in an arena, televised for everyone to see. Fucked up, right? Sorry, there's no other way to describe how messed up that is. The story follows Katniss Everdeen and her life in District 12.

Anyway, it was fabulous and addicting. The first started a little slow, but quickly I was sucked into this world and I finished the last, say, two-hundred pages and the entire second one in about a day and a half or so. Speeds that have not been seen since I read The Deathly Hallows...or maybe even The Order of the Phoenix (I read Deathly Hallows slowly because I didn't want it to end). Suzanne Collins does an excellent job of dropping you into this world that you cannot get enough of. I'm not kidding. Scroll up and click that Amazon link, it goes right to the page.

So, while my summer's pretty much over, it's been an exciting couple of days (not necessarily in the positive sense with all the packing and a little sad air around the house). I'm not ready to go back, but I am kind of excited. Wish I could see Secondhand Serenade on the 11th and I'm still holding out hope I'll be done with training early enough to go! Fingers and toes crossed.

"Stronger" by Britney Spears; 2000

Tangled Up in Me

2010-08-05T14:13:00.000-07:00

"Wanna know more, more, more about me?"

So, my dear friend Kaitlyn gave me the Versatile Blogger Award a few days ago (check out her blog, please, thanks!), which is so exciting and such a huge honor! She said such wonderful things about me and my blog and it was the first award I've gotten!

The way it works is like this: If you received this award, you have to share seven things about yourself and then give the award to fifteen other blogs. However, since Kaitlyn only managed to come up with ten, I'll try to match that number instead of fifteen.

Seven things about me. Let's see:

1.) Despite the fact that I never really cared for girls in high school, I joined a sorority in college (Alpha Sigma Tau, WOO!) and actually it is the best decision I ever made. I've made some of my best friends and formal recruitment was a great way to beat the homesick feeling I was having my first year at college. It has honestly changed my life to have such a constant support system away from home and it has opened up so many doors, too, that I cannot imagine my college education without the lovely women of Beta Delta.

This is my lovely pledge class, SNMC '08 <3

2.) I LOVE football. I don't give two shits about hockey and I'm from Pittsburgh, so baseball is not even real, but I bleed black and gold and I love my Steelers no matter what. Even after the sad little season that we had last year, no matter where I move and relocate to, my heart will always belong to Steeler Nation.

Me and a few of my sisters went to the Steelers Victory Parade two years ago :)

3.) I'm addicted to Twitter. I tweet often, I tweet at celebrities, I tweet at Bravolebrities. I just love everything about it. At first I thought it was stupid, but it's a surprisingly simple way to stay in touch. Yes, it is a little egotistical, but who cares? It's fun! Follow me: @heytherebriana

4.) The Harry Potter series and Watership Down changed my life. Prior to the release of Harry Potter, I always knew that I wanted to be a writer, but after reading the first novel, it became clear that there were no other options. Whether it's screenwriting, playwriting, fiction writing, critiquing - I know that I'm supposed to be a writer. Thank you, J.K. Rowling. Richard Adams further solidified this, in his striking ability to tell a political story from the point of view of rabbits. This book doesn't receive nearly enough credit. Read it right now.

5.) I'm obsessed with television and movies books and music and pop culture. I'm hopefully going to NYU or UCLA for a Ph.D in Cinema Studies. Bravo is one of my favorite channels, ever. I'm in love with the Real Housewives series and I think that Bethenny Getting Married? is one of the most refreshing shows on TV. I love movies, I love midnight book release parties. I love it all. I also feel an odd connection to Andy Warhol, dunno.

6.) I'm pretty sure I should've been born in the 1910s to be alive in the 1920s. There's just something about that era that fascinates me. All that jazz, prohibition, Gatsby, I love it all. Flappers and speakeasies. It's my goal in life to throw a Prohibition party and I am so excited for the new show on HBO, Boardwalk Empire.

7.) Lastly! My mom is my best friend. I love her so much. We are seriously a real life, not rich, less dramatic version of Gilmore Girls. She had me when she was young, but accepted the love and support of my grandparents and I think having me so young really benefited our relationship. The combination of that her no-bullshit way of raising me. I thank God for my mother and I love her more than anything. She's my best friend, my rock, and my biggest fan. The Lorelei to my Rory. I'm 21 and will openly admit I love my momma :)

AND NOW!!!!!!! The blogs I pass this onto, in no particular order are as follows:

1.) Kaitlyn at Kaitlyn in Bookland

2.) Nathan at How I Roll

3.) Patrice at Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman

4.) Sara at The Bucket List

5.) Laura at Coffee, Chalk, and Flip Flops

6.) Dree at Defining Dree

7.) Heather at Boyfriend Challenged

8.) Penny Ann at Beauty in the Breakdown

9.) Paige at Awkward Sex and the City

And with that, I'm stuck at 9, which isn't so bad, I suppose. Thanks again, Kaitlyn :)

"Tangled Up in Me" by Skye Sweetnam; 2004

Rocking at Hogwarts

2010-07-31T17:45:00.000-07:00

"Snape. Snape. Severus Snape. DUMBLEDORE!"

Today is Harry Potter's birthday. In reality, it is JK Rowling's birthday. I'm wishing a very, very happiest of birthdays to both, the Boy Who Lived and the wonderful woman who created him.

I can vividly remember when I was assigned to read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. I was eleven and in fifth-grade gifted classes and I was irritated that I had to read this fantasy nonsense, as someone who preferred realistic fiction ala Judy Blume. However, after reading the first chapter aloud in class (back when my teacher assumed Hagrid was the only British one, with his thickly written accent), I was hooked. I begged my grandparents to take me to the bookstore to buy my own copy of the novel and I finished it the next night.

If only then I knew this was child's play of my Harry Potter reading records (Hello, Order of the Phoenix, done in 14.5 hours). There was something magically hopeful about Harry and his world. It was the stuff of fantasy, but realistic enough to not completely turn me off. To this day, I'm not sure Hogwarts doesn't exist and maybe I'm just a run of the mill Muggle, living in quasi-ignorance.

This also stands out to me, because JK Rowling and Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone is what made me realize writing was what I wanted to do. It just made so much sense, it was something I hadn't thought of before reading the series. Really, it wasn't something I had thought of prior to hearing that JK (because we're on a first name/initial status at this point) started the series on a train, writing it on napkins. Clearly it wasn't fruitful at first shot, but it was life-changing. I wanted to change lives, too.

When I think of my childhood in terms of literature, two things stand out: Watership Down and Harry Potter. When thinking about the release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in theaters, it makes me a little misty-eyed. In July 2011, my childhood is officially over (especially fitting, since I graduate from college in May 2011). It was also eerily appropriate when the novel was released the summer after I graduated high school, weeeeeird!

I cried when I watched the trailer. I got PISSED when I sat through nine hours of Twilight garbage and didn't get a Deathly Hallows trailer. I cried when I saw Eclipse a second time, mostly for the Deathly Hallows trailer. Every time I go to the movies, I'm a little sad if I don't see a Deathly Hallows trailer. I didn't even LIKE Deathly Hallows that much. It's the most bittersweet anticipation I've ever experienced.

Ranking the books is hard. It's hard and so easy at the same time. I love talking about the books with people and seeing how my favorites stack up to theirs. As it is:

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

However, after watching and rewatching the film adaptation of Half-Blood Prince, I might need to reread that and reassess my ranking.

It's a phenomenon. It's great literature. I'm sad to see it end. It has staying power. It's more than just a fad. It's the story of a generation, yet it is satisfying to all. How many stories can do this? Yes, I challenge you, Twihards. My mom could not get three pages into Twilight, but she finished Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone and is hungry for more.

I'm sad to see this end, but I'm so happy it happened. Thank God, it did.

"Rocking at Hogwarts" by Harry and the Potters; 2003

Who Do You Think You Are?

2010-07-28T08:32:00.000-07:00

"Who is Salt?"

That seems to be the inevitable question throughout this movie. I saw Salt the day after it came out, of course I had to, I'm in love with Angelina Jolie. This movie, contrary to what critics are saying was actually pretty good. It's an action movie, I don't know why critics have such high expectations for them in terms of plot. They are good for explosions and outrageous stunts, not much else.

That being said and despite plot holes, I thought this plot was excellent for an action movie. Angelina Jolie plays Evelyn Salt, CIA officer. One day, Salt and her friend Ted (Liev Schreiber) interrogate a Russian defector who informs them that a Russian spy/sleeper agent is going to assassinate the Russian president at the American vice-president's funeral. The defector, Orlov, informs them that the Russian spy's name is Evelyn Salt.

Salt is concerned about her husband's safety and runs off, resulting in the CIA, specifically Peabody (Chiwetel Ejiofor) to think she's guilty. The rest of the movie is a roller coaster ride that leaves you out of breath and for most of the movie unsure of who to trust.

I figured this was just a little action movie, and critics seem to think that's all it is. Critics seem to have high expectations for action movies and I still don't know why. By and large there are epic plot holes and things that happen for no reason. I understand that I'm supposed to suspend disbelief in most movies, ESPECIALLY action movies (and horror movies). Yes, there are plot holes. Yes, at the end I was like "WHAT?" in a different way than I was afterInception. However, I think the plot was still very strong for an action movie.

The cast was also really good. I had read that Tom Cruise was supposed to be Edwin Salt, and I couldn't have been happier when they rewrote the script for Angelina Jolie. Beyond just being over Tom Cruise at this point (really, man, maybe you should just retire and enjoy being a Scientologist), it was great to see the role given to a badass woman. Women can kick ass and take names just as well as a guy can. Her fight scenes weren't unrealistic, there were times that she got her butt kicked, but she recovers. It was surprisingly empowering. My mom and I left the theater like "Yeah! Let's go for a run!" ...but it was like 97 degrees outside so instead we went home and watched TV.

It was a really great action movie, one of the best that I have seen in a while...I'd go so far as to say in years. The plot is more complicated than it seems. Yes, you have to suspend disbelief, but...do you really think Angelina Jolie can hop off of a bridge and land on a moving truck and go further as to keep hoping from car to truck all while being shot at? Exactly. It was refreshing and fun. I'd probably go see it again, but it's not like Inception, where I absolutely must go see it again. I'd give this a B...maybe a B+ because I really did enjoy this :) I think most people won't be disappointed in this film.

"Who Do You Think You Are?" by The Spice Girls; 1997

Dream On

2010-07-22T19:18:00.000-07:00

"You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling."

So, I saw Inception on Monday and it's taken me this long to assess the movie. It wasn't bad, quite the contrary, it was on of the best movies I've seen in a really long time. However, there's just so much. Each day, I thought of something new about this movie, and it was great.

Frankly, I'm seeing this movie again. Next week cannot come fast enough and I think everyone should see this movie. Well, if you like this type of chaotic, makes you think movie. If you only really like Disney films and vapid romantic comedies and simple plots with lots of explosions, this isn't for you.

Let's start with the cast. Perfect. Leonardo DiCaprio plays Cobb, our protagonist who is able to get into people's dreams and extract information. He works with Arthur (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) and Ariadne (Ellen Page) directly. Marion Cotillard, Ken Watanabe, Tom Hardy, Cillian Murphy, Dileep Rao, and Michael Caine also star. They are all excellent and this was an excellent example of great casting. This movie could've been crap and this cast would've salvaged it.

Now, let's talk plot. It's very complicated, yet very simple. Cobb can slip into people's dreams and extract information, which, when used for corporate espionage, is illegal. For some reason (no spoilers here!), Cobb is unable to go home and Saito offers to clear his record if he can manage inception. Inception is planting an idea in someone's subconscious and Arthur thinks it's impossible. Cobb says you just have to go deep enough and hence begins our adventure.

I was afraid that this would be more complicated, but it was surprisingly simple to grasp, while being remarkably complicated. At the beginning I was a little disoriented, unsure of what was a dream and what was a reality, however I liked it. I won't lie, I was worried this would be a heaping piece of shit like that movie from a few years back Stay, with Ewan McGregor and Ryan Gosling, but this was infinitely better.

This film is visually magnificent. The two standouts to me all took place at the same time. I loved the fight featuring Joseph Gordon-Levitt in the zero-gravity hotel corridor. It was mesmerizing and awesome. I appreciate it even more after hearing Gordon-Levitt (my future husband, ps) say in an interview that they shot it in a rotating box. SUH-WEET. The second standout was the way Christopher Nolan handled the time-frame of the three dreams. How the van dropped in slow motion, the hotel lost gravity, and the rest was in normal time (as far as we're concerned). Brilliant.

I'm starting to wonder if Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to tell us something with his latest role choices, but they are great movies (if you haven't seen Shutter Island, stop reading this and go Netflix/On Demand it right now) and they really make you think twice. They are movies that you leave debating with whoever you see it with, which is refreshing.

A+, Christopher Nolan! A+++! As someone who doesn't really care for the new Batman series (I won't lie, I wasn't too impressed with The Dark Knight, with the exception of Heath Ledger), I was a little nervous going into this. It definitely did not disappoint. I'm going to see it again next week. Make sure you don't doze off or have to run to the bathroom during this, you need to pay close attention to everything. It flies by and is a lot of fun. Fab movie.

"Dream On" by Aerosmith; 1973

Can't Smile Without You

2010-07-19T21:02:00.001-07:00

"'I've missed this,' Marcus thinks, 'I've missed you.'"

I want a love like Jessica Darling and Marcus Flutie.

Happy Birthday, Marcus Flutie. Well, technically it was yesterday since it's after midnight, but whatever.

In honor of the birth of a fictional character I'm in love with, I'm telling everyone that you must read Megan McCafferty's series about Jessica Darling.

I started reading these while I was still in high school, the perfect time to read them and I find that I really did kind of grow up with Jessica Darling (not as much as I did with Harry Potter, but still). Her outlook on life is strikingly similar to mine and I really appreciate her as a character. Written diary-style (sans Perfect Fifths), you really get into the mind of Jess, which makes her become a part of you. She's raw and candid and real, something missing in a lot of books I read with characters this age. Jess is authentic, rather than generic.

Marcus Flutie is perfect. He's a mess, but so deep and...he's fascinating. I hope that one day I meet a boy like Marcus, even if we don't fall in love. Marcus could be my best friend and my lover.

Sunny steals the last book. You can find out more about her later, but she's a pleasant addition to the characters I love so much.

I was really sad when reading what I heard to be the final book, but Jessica's a grown up. Marcus is a grown up. She's done with college and has a steady job. She knows people getting married. In many ways I'm where Jessica is at the beginning of Perfect Fifths. I so very wish they'd make movies of each novel, but at the same time, I don't want it damaged by Hollywood.

GO READ THIS SERIES. It's not cheesy and stupid, it's smart and funny. It's sophisticated. It tells the story of a young adult without the stereotype of being a young adult novel. It's grown up and it's real. In some ways, it feels like McCafferty just made her name Jessica Darling for the sake of the novel, because I can't believe this reality came from a subconscious (though, after seeing Inception, I may be wrong).

It is a light, fun read, but it'll also touch you. I cried when I finished the final book because it was over. In an earlier book (I think Second Helpings), I wrote Jess's valedictorian speech down on construction paper and taped it to my door. This is a coming of age story in the best form and I hope anyone who reads it enjoys it as much as I do. I honestly can't imagine my life without Jessica, Marcus, Hope, Cinthia, Bridget, Percy and even Manda.

I wish I could go into more detail, but I don't want to ruin it. Just go check it out. They're in the Fiction/Literature section of Barnes and Noble or they can be found online: Sloppy Firsts, Second Helpings, Charmed Thirds, Fourthcomings, Perfect Fifths. All are worth it. Some more than others, but that differs per person. Perfect Fifths and Second Helpings are my two favorites, I think.

While J.K. Rowling may be the author that inspired me to write, Megan McCafferty is the author that's inspired me to not give up.

"Well, this will make a good happy story," Marcus says. "Whenever you decide to tell it."

At first Jessica nods in agreement, the top of her ponytail striking his chin with every head bob. But then she corrects herself with a decisive head shake. "We," she says.
"We?"
"Whenever we tell it," she says. "Because it's our story."

"Can't Smile Without You" by Barry Manilow; 1978

Single Ladies

2010-07-14T21:37:00.000-07:00

"You don't want to be in love. You want to be in love in a movie."

I've never actually seen Sleepless in Seattle (but it's on demand, so I'm starting it tomorrow), but this quote has always been glued into my brain. It's true. For as much as I think I want to be in love, I really don't. I want to be in love in a movie.

I recently joined 20 Something Bloggers and one discussion board topic asked the impossible question: Why are you single?

Why am I single?

For my first three years of college, I hated this about myself. There were girls everywhere that were meaner than me and not as pretty as me that were with really attractive, really sweet, really smart, really funny guys. What was the problem?! Besides the fact that, you know, I'm socially awkward sometimes. This is especially maddening, even still, since I had a level of confidence that bordered on arrogant in high school, but that seemed to have left me the minute I stepped foot on campus the first time.

Then, after joining a sorority, I met quite a few girls in serious relationships, 3/4 of the couples are now engaged. ENGAGED?! I'm old enough to know people that are getting married?! When did that happen?? More importantly, how do I make it stop? I realize part of this is because I attend a Catholic university, where a lot of my peers grew up with the expectation and desire to be married with a baby or two by twenty-five.

That's when I realized I wouldn't want to be in a relationship. Why am I single? I'm afraid of commitment, first and foremost...and most importantly. I have zero desire to be in a serious relationship. I have zero desire to be married by the time that I'm twenty-five...I'm not even sure I want to be married when I turn thirty. I definitely don't want kids. If I could get my tubes tied tomorrow, I would. To be frank, the only reason why I want a relationship is because I'm still a virgin and I don't want to remain one until I'm married. No, thank you. It's just not for me. If you're going to do it, GOOD FOR YOU!

It bothers me that I feel like people my age are dating to get married, because that doesn't interest me in the slightest. I'd like to have a serious relationship to say that I've had a serious relationship post-high school, where nothing seems to be considered serious, anyway. I feel as though when you're in your twenties, though, and you start dating seriously, people start wondering when you and said significant other are going to take the next step. Why do I have to? I have my entire life ahead of me.

I also think I'm single because I'm too passionate. I have several beliefs and I'm very vocal about them and they are deal breakers. I'm very liberal, for instance, and I don't think I could date someone actively (politically) conservative. I like cats, which sounds silly, but I can't see my life without a cat in the future. I don't want children (yes, this could change) and I don't want someone who would want children right away. I love musical theater and I couldn't be with someone who couldn't at least tolerate it for me. I don't want to stay in my city, so what's the point of finding someone right now?

Why am I single? I'm an emotional trainwreck. I want to get close and will get needy and clingy if I'm feeling neglected, but then when I get too much attention, I feel suffocated and want, no kind of need to cut and run. I'm more trouble than I'm worth, it seems - my words, no one else's.

I'm single because I spent Monday and Tuesday stalking Taylor Lautner outside of a local high school and accidentally ended up on the news. Because I have a bad temper, because I sometimes like to play games, and because I'm the girl next door, one of the guys - not the girl of your dreams.

I used to hate this about myself and tried to become a girl of one's dreams, but...it's easier to just be me. I'm just glad I'm realizing this at twenty-one instead of forty-one. I'm embracing being single because there's a ton I want to do. I want to travel Europe. Move to New York. Maybe move to San Diego. Get my Ph.D in Cinema Studies from NYU. Make a name for myself. Publish a book. Be my own security blanket. Being in a relationship won't help make any of that possible.

I'm single because I don't want to be considered selfish at the expense of someone else. I'm single because I'm twenty-one and deserve to be selfish. Besides, casually dating is seriously underrated and makes life fuller.

I'm single for my own good.

"Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)" by Beyonce; 2008

Ours

2010-07-04T22:50:00.000-07:00

"This isn't the time to make hard and fast decisions, this is the time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere chill. Fall in love - a lot. Major in Philosophy because there's no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind. Then change it again, because nothing is permanent."

I realize that in my previous rant, I never actually REVIEWED Eclipse. So, Bella and Edward aside, I actually liked this movie and it makes me wish that "The Twilight Saga" was only a trilogy, so that it would end on a high note.

I think that this was the best acted, funniest, most action packed Twilight film so far. I think it did lack the immediacy that the original had, but it didn't make it less exciting, though it would've added to the action. I never really felt the rush to train and the impending terror from the newborn army. They were just kinda there.

I missed Rachelle Lefevre as Victoria, a lot, but Bryce Dallas Howard wasn't as horrendous as I thought she would be, frankly. Xavier Samuel kind of stole the movie as Riley. He was GREAT. Billy Burke also made this movie. This was by far his best performance and I found myself becoming more Team Charlie than Edward or Jacob.

That being said, as an adaptation, I thought the movie kind of fell flat. Eclipse was my favorite book and it made me laugh and cry. I didn't feel Jacob's pain of being in love with someone in love with someone else nearly as much as I did in the book. My heart didn't break like it did in the book and that was disappointing.

Yet, as a standalone, I thought the writing was really stepped up. I LOVED Jessica's valedictorian speech. Some parts were still melodramatic (Edward saying "my reason for existing" instead of "the girl I love" for example), but it was toned down considerably between New Moon and Eclipse.

Eclipse, in my opinion, earns a solid B. Let's be real, none of these movies are going to win an Oscar any time soon. They're fun, fluffy little films and the sooner people realize it, the less scary Twi-hards will be. I wish that Summit had the same faith in Twilight fans that Warner Brothers has in Harry Potter fans. I would have waited until Deathly Hallows was over for Eclipse and I feel that the rush to get it out is why I'm so neutral about the film adaptation of my favorite book in the series.

As an aside, Taylor Lautner is filming in Pittsburgh. He surprised Eclipse viewers at the Waterfront theater. I wasn't there. I want to die. If he leaves Pittsburgh and I don't manage to get a glimpse of him...I will die.

"Ours" by The Bravery; 2010

Never Think

2010-07-02T18:37:00.000-07:00

"He's like a drug for you, Bella. I see that you can't live without him now. It's too late. But I would have been healthier for you. Not a drug; I would have been the air, the sun."

This is kinda long. Sorry, I have a lot of beef with this idea.

So, I've been thinking a lot about Eclipse lately. I went to see it at midnight and then again yesterday, wondering why it didn't really have an effect on me the first time. Surprisingly, this cheap, silly, fluffy film has got me thinking a lot about myself. Why was it rubbing me so wrong? This was my favorite book in the series, everyone was declaring "The best Twilight yet!" and somehow...I felt nothing.

Then, towards the end of yesterday's viewing of the film, I realized what it was that I don't like about it. I really detest Edward Cullen. I can hear crazed fangirl hearts breaking all over the world and plots of my death right now, but...I'm sorry. I just don't like the guy. This goes beyond my being on Team Jacob (sorry, I am), to the fact that he's kind of a huge douche.

Yes, I've said it. Edward Cullen is a douche and his relationship...Bella and Edward's relationship embodies everything I don't want. Ever. He's a lying, manipulative douchebag. Things he admits to in Twilight ("Everything about me invites you in.") and New Moon ("You can't trust vampires, trust me."), only solidify these in Eclipse when he lies to Bella not once, not twice, but continually throughout the movie/book. He lies about Alice's vision, even though it directly affects her safety. He screws with her engine. He won't let her visit Jake, her best friend who stopped her from killing herself when Edward went MIA. He manipulates her into telling Jake she (stupidly) accepted Edward's marriage proposal. Maybe he should be a little more appreciative to Jacob, since this kid saved his "reason for existing" when she was suicidal because of HIM. There is nothing honest about this guy.

His possessiveness is borderline abusive and the first sign to look for in abusive relationships. He's so clingy, it makes me sick. And don't even get me started on Bella. She's a sad and sorry excuse for a modern woman. I despise the way the reader/viewer is tricked into thinking she's really making this decision for herself because she feels "more like myself" in the vampire world, rather than making such a rash decision by being a horny teenager, like she actually is.

It's a melodramatic action, to be willing to throw one's entire life away family, friends everything, just for a boy you love at seventeen, to entirely change for the boy you love. A melodramatic action that only a naive seventeen year old would make, which is why this is kind of believable. What isn't is Charlie's acceptance of all this. Yeah, I know Bella's legally an adult, but there's NO WAY Charlie would be okay with this. Ever. He's actually a decent parental unit. He would've stepped in.

But that gets me on the tangent of Breaking Dawn, which I'm not even touching right now (you're not Harry Potter).

The thing that really trips me up is...are there really girls that feel this way? That find this possessiveness romantic? I remember being infatuated with Edward Cullen (until New Moon happened, because I am a modern woman and Jacob is the more modern man) when I was in high school. Thank GOD I didn't read this when I was more impressionable. Thank GOD I don't have a crappy mom. Who knows what I'd believe about the sanctity of marriage and falling in love in high school.

I was very much in love in high school. I still love him very much, but I'd never in a million years want to marry him. At least not without experiencing my twenties first. Who knows, we very well could end up together, but if we do, at least I won't be wondering "What if?" like Bella Swan (more than likely) realistically would in ten years when it's too late and she feels what Rosalie told her.

It just...it's obviously not just me, but it's also, in some ways, just me...I think if you get married that young...in today's day and age...you're throwing your life away. I know, there's that "OMIGOD! YOU JUST HAVEN'T MET THE ONE. IF YOU MET THE ONE, YOU'D KNOW!" romanticism, but...I don't think I would. I could very well meet the one and that's great, but I wouldn't let myself marry him. Not now. My life is just beginning. There's so much I want to do that I don't want to be tied down for? I want to move to New York and live in a crappy apartment above an Indian restaurant, which makes the whole place smell like curry. I want to lay on the beach in LA and write a book. I want to go to grad school. I want to go to Paris for six months. I want to live alone for a little. I want to live with roommates a little. Most importantly, I just want to live.

Is there nothing Bella wanted to do? Did she not want to live? Because ultimately, she is begging for her murder...asking for suicide. Yeah, it's morbid when it's tossed in your face in such blunt language, isn't it?

Obviously, everything worked out great for her and she managed to get it all so why not get married to the boy that makes your palms sweat and your cheeks rosy junior year of high school? Everything will come up roses if you follow that plan of action. You change for the boy of your dreams (UGH) and magically it's for the better. You get the best friend. The family...and most important the guy you changed for at the end of it all. And maybe a "little nudger" to make your family complete.

Maybe it's just my cynicism, but just that thought makes me itch. I can't imagine being twenty-one with a child and a husband. Jacob was actually right in Eclipse when he said something along the lines of "I can't believe you're ending your life before you really even lived." Jessica elaborates in her valedictorian speech: "Now is the time to make mistakes" (kudos screenwriter, you knocked that out of the ball park). It is the time to live, it is the time to make mistakes. Not change for your husband and abandon your support system.

I'm just offended by Stephenie Meyer setting us back in time. I'll end this with the same Facebook status I had after I saw New Moon:

Bella Swan: Setting women back since 2005.

Thanks for nothing.

"Never Think" (aptly titled) by Rob Pattinson; 2008

Goodbye

2010-06-24T12:19:00.000-07:00

"But the only thing really that there is to do is forgive and forget. So, I really do, I want to forgive you...and I want to forget you."

Yes, I know it's from The Hills. THE HILLS?! But this exchange between former best friends Lauren and Heidi has come into my mind a lot as of late. With the recent demise of my friendship with Tom and watching Jill and Bethenny fall apart on The Real Housewives of NYC, I got to thinking about friendships.

I know that good friends last a lifetime, but how do you know someone's a really good friend. A friend should love you no matter what, right? A friend should listen to whatever you have to say and not judge you for it (perhaps guide you in a proper direction, but never judge). A friend should listen as much as they talk. A friend shouldn't talk about you behind your back (unless they're planning an intervention, in which case they're just being a good friend).

However, I've noticed a lot of my friends don't really fill this criteria. My so-called best friend (though, she thinks we are more than I do) judges me for dating people, being friends with people, etc. We're growing apart, even though we went to the same college and I'm more willing to accept it than her. It's really sad, but it's a part of life.

The one girl I've known forever, I would consider her my best friend, but I don't get to see her or talk to her very often. We're growing apart, but in a different way where we can kind of pick up right where we left off. I'm a senior in college. There's no prospect even the slightest bit on the horizon, but with a decent amount of my friends/people I know engaged, I sometimes think about my wedding way down the line and I honestly have no idea who my Maid of Honor would be...or my Mister of Honor.

In high school it was my on-again/off-again now ex-boyfriend that hands down would've been my Best Man. Now...I have no idea. And I HATE that so many people are getting married that I'm thinking about it. I'm not a committal person. I don't really like commitment. What difference does it make? I'll find one. Yet, it's still nagging me.

But then, I'm moving (fingers crossed). I'm a senior in college. I'm applying to grad schools. Five schools. One in Pittsburgh. Who knows what will happen if I relocate to NYC or SoCal? I just really hope I end up there. I don't want to be stuck here for two more years.

I feel like I'm hitting a rut and I'm far too young for that. Trying to get in shape is awful. I just don't get running! Like my friend Katelyn goes running and she's all, "No, you need to just run for like fifteen minutes and then your endorphins kick in and it's easy."

...HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO RUN THAT LONG? I can't even make it entirely around the block before my stomach feels flippy and my legs just want to buckle? Maybe if I didn't live in Pittsburgh, one of the hilliest places on the planet it'd be easier, but going up and down hill makes it impossible. I played field hockey and steered clear of cross country in high school for a reason.

I just wish I could wiggle my nose and be in shape. It's beyond even wanting to lose weight anymore, I just want to be able to walk up a hill and not huff and puff like an 80 year-old lifelong smoker. I still have a little more than a month before I head back to school, let's make this happen, right? Focusing on working out does help take my mind off of all the friendship nonsense that started this post, which is good :) If anyone has workout tips/healthy advice, please share! I'm drowning here.

"Goodbye" by The Spice Girls; 1998

You've Got a Friend in Me...

2010-06-23T22:12:00.000-07:00

"The toys are back in town."

Disney definitely knows how to promote a new film. Especially a Disney/Pixar collaboration and frankly, why shouldn't they? All seven of Disney/Pixar films have been a commercial success to this point, why should Toy Story 3 be any different? Well, it isn't. It was everything I imagined and more after an eleven year absence.

Andy is all grown-up and he moves past his toys. The movie opens with all of them (even Woody and Buzz) tossed in a toy box, forgotten for who knows how long. Desperate just to be held, the toys try to get Andy's attention by hiding his cell phone in the toy box and calling it. Unfortunately it doesn't entirely work.

Andy's mom strolls in and pops the statement most college students hate to hear: "It's time to pack up your room!" Faced with a box full of toys and his younger sister's eagerness to takeover his room, he's left with the options of: attic, trash/donations, college. To keep Molly occupied, their mom tells her to donate some more of her toys to the ironically named Sunnyside Daycare Center, and pop! in goes Barbie as Molly is now more focused on MP3 players.
Simply put, a mix-up happens and the toys all wind-up at the daycare center where they are forced to be with the crazy toddlers who abuse toys. Many great and (some) evil toys and new characters are introduced at this point in the film - most of which are just as charming as the usual suspects. As a devoted fan of Hamm, I was excited that he was still around and to see a sequence featuring Evil Dr. Porkchop. However, it's Mrs. Potatohead that COMPLETELY steals the movie, missing her eye for the majority of the film.

The end of the movie is absolutely heartbreaking. I won't give anything away, but be prepared for some tissues. Almost everyone I know, myself included and college-aged boys, cried for the last twenty minutes or so of the movie.

This movie is Disney/Pixar at its finest. Was this my favorite movie in the franchise? No. However, they did fall as follows:

Toy Story
Toy Story 3
Toy Story 2

I can't believe that this trilogy was almost the first for all three films to have a 100% Fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes. I also fully support petitions against the three (just THREE) critics that gave the film less than positive reviews, mostly because I don't feel that the second installment was nearly as good as the third. I would definitely flip flop these scores - however, Toy Story 3 is still boasting a 98% Fresh rating, which is outstanding for a film on the site.

This movie was everything that I wanted and even more after waiting eleven years, which was great. The time off and away from Andy's toys really seemed to go a long way and it shows in the quality of the film. I laughed, I cried and I loved. This wasn't as sad as a three-minute montage of "when somebody loved me," but in a new way. Buzz has some glitches and it's hilarious. Hamm and Mr. Potatohead are sarcastic. The humor in this movie (as in the previous two) was very smart; something you can only appreciate once you get older as my mom told me when I was little and as I see now. On that note, it was great to see the wide range of people in the theater. There were little kids there that were introduced to these characters on the big screen for the very first time and then there were people my age, in their early twenties, that were introduced to these characters eleven years ago, catching up with old friends on-screen and off.

That's what the movie felt like. It felt like I was catching up with old friends again. It was familiar and it didn't disappoint. The commercials are not lying when they say, "you want all movies to be this good." I saw the film in 3D, but I don't think that you HAVE to see the film in 3D to appreciate it (as the best of movies seem to work).

It had been so long since I'd seen a Disney/Pixar film in theaters that I forgot about the Pixar shorts in the beginning. There was a very beautiful one called Day & Night before Toy Story 3 and it was just as charming as the feature film. It was visually stunning and really told a story without using any words. I really hope it's released with the DVD because I'd like to own it.

Overall, I give Toy Story 3 an A rating. It's not an A+ like the first installment (that was so original and unique), but it was a great film that I would pay $9 to see again in theaters. Definitely go check it out if you're on the fence. At the very least you'll get some laughs and some "awwe" moments out of it. :)

"You've Got a Friend in Me" by Randy Newman; 1995

Labels or Love?

2010-06-04T07:12:00.001-07:00

"Year after year, twenty-something women come to New York in search of the two L's: labels and love. Twenty years ago, I was one of them."

I hope to be one of those women by the time I'm twenty-three. Needless to say, Sex and the City is the life (though, less promiscuous) I dream of when I finally get the balls to relocate to NYC and when Carrie Bradshaw said these words in the first movie, tears leapt into my eyes, making me giddy.

I was quite ecstatic to find out what I could about the sequel and I couldn't believe that the day was finally upon me last Thursday. It was finally time to get reacquainted with the girls and see what they had been up to for two years.

It was exciting and refreshing to see the girls as they met in the late 80s and it added to my anticipation. I whispered to my friend, watching Carrie struggle with her luggage in 1986 New York, "Is this going to be me in two years, but with smaller hair?"

The movie was pretty funny, highlights including Samantha thrusting the air, screaming, "Yes, CONDOMS! I HAVE SEX!" and Miranda's enthusiasm about going to Abu Dhabi. The thing that I was anticipating the most was the return of Aidan Shaw, a great love lost on Carrie's part. As someone who doesn't entirely care for Mr. Big, I was hoping Carrie would realize what a horrible mistake she's made and get back together with Aidan, as outrageous as that seems.

The major complaint that I have in terms of that subject matter is that I wish Aidan was in it more. I also agree with the majority of critics to an extent. There's no true blue substance to this movie. It definitely did not need to be as long as it was, that's for sure. There was a point somewhere between Carrie's first encounter with Aidan and her second that my mind started to wander.

It was a pleasing little girls night out film, but it doesn't stand as strong as the first one. I missed being in New York, as beautiful as "Abu Dhabi" (or actually Morocco) was. You can't have Sex and the City, when you can't have Samantha having sex IN the city. Samantha, who I would have choked if she started thrusting the air around me in conservative Abu Dhabi. She's lucky she only got arrested in my opinion.

The character that truly shines is surprisingly Miranda, who I usually detest. She was light and funny, having ultimately quit her job and when she made it to see Brady win the science fair, it made me so happy for her. I'm glad she's getting everything she wants, especially after her major screw-up in the first fillm. It was quite a developmental change for her character.

As for Charlotte and Carrie, well...I felt a little bad for them both. Then my sympathy for Carrie went out the window when she insulted Charlotte, running off to meet her ex-fiance.

Something missing too much from both movies? STANFORD! He's my favorite character and I was so happy to see his nuptials with Anthony, and I know he's not really one of the girls, but a little part of me wishes I could have seen him in Abu Dhabi. Or, you know, seen the development of his relationship with Anthony. That was definitely missing in the first one. Talk about random.

Overall, the movie wasn't awful. Hands down, my favorite outfit of Carrie's was this one:
I just thought that outfit was sheer perfection and I want it. So bad.

I don't slam Sex and the City 2 like most other critics do, but it definitely wasn't on the same bar as the first one, in my opinion. I give it a B-. It is a great girls night out, though, and a ton of fun.

"Labels or Love" by Fergie; 2008

Tik Tok

2010-05-29T17:44:00.000-07:00

"I gotta fly once, I gotta try once; only can die once, right sir? Oh life is juicy, juicy and you see, I gotta have my bite, sir."

As mixed as my feelings are about Barbara Streisand, there is no denying that "Don't Rain on My Parade" is a powerhouse and has been revived thanks to Lea Michele and Glee. I've been listening to that song a lot. There's something about it that's helping me get through my "OMGI'MASENIORINCOLLEGE" crisis.

I know it's been a while, let's play catch up. Tom and I are no longer friends. Tom put his girlfriend before our friendship and hasn't talked to me since I responded wrongly to news that she hit a deer. For the record, Gertrude is fine and didn't do any damage and probably hurt the deer more than her car, but I let out a chuckle and we're no longer friends. We haven't talked since February. Rude.

Ever since Tom and I stopped talking, I've done a lot of soul searching and figuring out of who I am, especially since I didn't entirely like who I was when we were friends. It's sad that we're not friends anymore; it's always sad when a friendship ends, but I'm really...not that bent out of shape about it. There are times it's a little strange, but when things go wrong...I'm not sure I'll be there for him (I'm not sure I can forgive him), and that's what makes me a little sad.

Oh well, like I said before (and many times before) this is the summer devoted to me. I'm determined to get back into shape after letting myself go for a semester and just get in some me time. I'm not working too much because BBW doesn't have enough hours, so I've been working out and reading, just as life should be in the summer.

My mom and I are still debating my post graduation plans; she wants me to stay and I want to leave. I need to leave. I think it's important and Pittsburgh doesn't really offer what I want, but...moving to a big city, moving to New York City, kind of scares me.

We'll see.

"Tik Tok" by Ke$ha; 2009

Everything I'm Not

2009-09-27T08:56:00.000-07:00

"I feel like the girl who ditches a cocktail party to see a rock band play."

It is like Twilight star, Rachelle Lefevre can see a part of my soul. I don't know how or why, but I've always been easily influenced by the media. Don't misunderstand, I'm not one to easily give in to peer pressure - in fact, the more you insist I do something, the more I get pissed off and my odds of snapping at you are much more raised, especially if it's something I seldom do to begin with or don't like.

I used to have a startlingly amount of confidence in high school, in fact, an ex said I was borderline arrogant. I don't know what happened when I went to college, but I lost all of that and I want to know why? Just because I switched locations and am surrounded by much more politically conservative people does not make ME less fabulous. I never used to let what insecure, sometimes trashy girls said get to me - so why the hell is it now?

Sure, I may have horrible eating habits, I may not go to the gym, I may procrastinate, but I work hard. I managed a successful sorority recruitment, and not to sound cocky, but I'm pretty. Why am I letting other people get to me? I have ALWAYS been ridiculously insecure, but at least in high school, I managed to mask it well with my arrogance. I need that back. Spending time with my wonderful Big Big, Emily made me realize that.

In regards to my life-changing healthy year, it's safe to say that the junk food junkie, lazy bones in me is still there. I haven't had time to do much because of recruitment, but now recruitment is over and I can get back on track. I still procrastinate, but not nearly as much as I did last year. Small changes.

The plus side is that I have an internship now! I'm writing entertainment blogs for collegelifestyles.org, which is a great site for college students (directed at women) and incoming college students. There are many different topics discussed and it's super beneficial and fun :) Check it out.

I promise to be much better with blogging in the future. Julie and Julia inspired me to take it much more seriously. It's a great movie and if it hadn't been done, I would try to cook through Ina Garten's cookbooks (and gain 900 pounds). I love the Barefoot Contessa :)

Steelers play today! Recover from that loss, boys.
Pittsburgh Steeler Time!!!!

"Everything I'm Not" by The Veronicas; 2005

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

2009-08-13T11:50:00.000-07:00

"I know I've made some mistakes, but I'm turning my life around."

Wise words, Rebecca Bloomwood. Like Becky, today I've decided to become a recovering shopaholic. A friend of mine didn't receive the full amount of loan money she requested and is struggling with trying to afford tuition. I haven't heard back from Sallie Mae, yet. I'm worried.

Also, watching Wifeswap actually inspired it, surprisingly enough. A family on the show paid off their $700,000 house by saving money and only buying the essentials. They are only thirty-one. If their kids wanted something, they had to pay for it themselves. Since I don't have kids, this should be even easier!

I have several things that I've decided to change that should help me save money:

1) Leaving the debit card at home. I will take out twenty bucks for snacks/take out/etc. whenever I go out and just...when I'm out of that, I'm out of money. Period. That way I won't say, "Oh if I just get this and nothing else," or the age old, "As long as I keep my account such and such an amount, I'll be okay."

2) Getting rid of things. My mom oftentimes jokes but with seriousness behind it that she wants to put me on Intervention or Obsessed, once she figures out if she wants to market me as a shopaholic or a hoarder. I keep things. I have emotional attachment to everything...and it needs.to.stop.

3) Change all of my favorites. My list below my toolbar includes ae.com, bananarepublic.com, forever21.com, perezhilton.com, gmail, my university email, and playbill.com. HALF of those are shopping websites. I check them weekly for new arrivals. That's BAD.

4) Use the giftcards and then STOP. I get money for Christmas and gift cards, and I use up all my gift cards and then move in on the money instead of saving it. I'm immediately going to deposit the money into a savings account (which I'm going to open, thankfully PNC has an awesome wallet program) and use the giftcards and only the giftcards.

5) "Do I need this?" In Confessions of a Shopaholic, Becky's roommate Suze gets a DVD called something like "Control Your Urge to Shop" and the second step (after clearing out the unnecessary things) was that every time you go shopping ask yourself, "Do I need this?" Now, this backfires on Becky as she goes to a sample sale, but under normal circumstances (as someone that doesn't live in a place where there are sample sales) it isn't so hard to do. I've tried it and have noticed (sometimes regretably) that no, I do not need it and so I don't buy it.

I'm sure there are/will be other things I come across that help me with my money saving/life changing adventure. We will also see how well this ends up working out. :)

In other news, it's football season in Pittsburgh again. YES. I need it after all of that hockey madness and...let's not discuss the Pirates. The Steelers makes the fall really fall, it gets me ready to go back to school, ready for Halloween (though the decorations in Yankee Candle and candy displays in the grocery store...already, help), ready for Thanksgiving, which ultimately get me ready for my all time favorite holiday, Christmas! :)

Can't wait! Here we go, Steelers, here we go!

"Changes" by David Bowie; 1971

So Long Sweet Summer

2009-08-08T16:37:00.000-07:00

"We could be sitting in the computer lab, four a.m. before the final paper is due, cursing the world cause I didn't start sooner and seeing the rest of the class there, too."

The creators of Avenue Q (closing on Broadway in September) had it so right. Those lines in that song remind me of being in eleventh grade when I pulled my first all-nighter. My teacher assigned us a research project to prepare us for our senior project and of course I (and most of my class) procrastinated. I logged onto AIM at about 3am and the only people on my buddy list were in my class or had my teacher.

I also remember my best friend and I declaring that after all of that hard work that we didn't just want As, but we DESERVED them by that point. She had to go to Walmart at five in the morning to get ink so she could print it and I slept on the living room floor, too afraid that if I went into my bed, I wouldn't wake up in seventy-five minutes to go to school.

Weeeeeell, it's that time of year again, time to go back to school. :) Except this year, things are changing for me.

As is obvious from my abovementioned story, I am the QUEEN of procrastination, lazing about, eating very bad for you things very late at night and I have since mastered the art of an A-worthy all-nighter (unless the subject is philosophy).

It is time for that to end. Rebecca Bloomwood said it best: "I know I made some mistakes, but I'm turning my life around."

Honestly, that's what all of those qualities I listed amount to. Mistakes. And now it's time to turn my life around. It isn't cool to pull an all-nighter, you just sound unorganized and LUCKY if you manage to get a good grade on the assignment. This is especially easy in college when you get a syllabus for every class and know months in advance when assignments are due.

Therefore, along with turning my life around, I'm also turning this blog around, which makes sense since I haven't written since May. Here I will post about the trials and tribulations (haha, oh yes) of a junk food, lazy fiend trying to become healthier and organized.

I'm enjoying the last few weeks of my lifestyle and August 24th, 2009, when classes begin, so does my healthier point of view on life. I will be attending the gym on campus five days a week and, while not excluding anything from my diet, practicing self-restraint, with the help of Real Houswife of NYC, Bethenny Frankel's book, Naturally Thin, which is great and highly recommended :)

I'm spending the remainder of the summer gradually adjusting my life so it wouldn't be such a shock when school began. For example, I'm drinking less pop (or soda, for those of you not from Pittsburgh), I'm trying to drink the suggested amount of water, I'm eating more veggies, etc. This is beyond my desire to lose weight, this is now about trying to get healthy, especially after realizing how many things run in my family, i.e. diabetes, high blood pressure, etc.

So, I'm saying goodbye to a sweet summer, eager for all of the things that this new year will bring. Hopefully at four a.m., I won't be sitting in the computer lab the night before the final paper is due anymore. It is time for me to take Rebecca Bloomwood's advice (something I normally wouldn't say, since I also am a shopaholic) and turn my life around.

"So Long Sweet Summer" by Dashboard Confessional; year unknown.

All That's Known

2009-05-27T22:22:00.000-07:00

"All they say is, 'Trust in what is written.' Wars are made and somehow that is wisdom. Thought is suspect and money is their idol, and nothing is okay unless it's scripted in their Bible."

So, I've had some time to mull over the fact that California hates a large chunk of the country. That got me thinking about lots of wrongs.

Such as, the intense fight to legalize gay marriage, being "black," and the fact that women are still getting paid less than men.

We'll go in order. Firstly, why is it such a big deal? Sure, the Bible says that lying with man as man lies with woman is an abomination, but does anybody else know beyond that? We shouldn't be eating shrimp or lobster, or wearing fabric woven of two materials or it's considered an abomination. Oh really? Secondly, if you read the Bible that literally, you also believe in slavery and sexism because it is throughout the Bible (based upon the little I have read).

I don't truly, wholeheartedly believe in marriage as an institution as it stands, but I definitely don't know if I would want to be part of an institution that excludes people that are truly in love, but allows people such as Kate Gosselin to get married. California royally screwed up and I am embarrassed at my country that this is even an issue. How do we expect kids to stop thinking it's bad to be gay or to stop using it as a taunt when the government portrays it that way? When we have hicks such as Carrie Prejean or cruel, closeted, overly macho men saying that it is wrong to be gay?

I have so many thoughts on this subject that I'm starting to get flustered. The point that I'm trying to make is that this hate needs to end. Did we not learn anything from Matthew Shepherd? How many innocent people need to die or be mistreated before something is actually done?

My second nagging topic, this mess about "blackness." It truly bothers me that because I use proper grammar, am still a virgin, and I apply myself in school that I'm not considered black. Funny, because if faced with a racist person, they won't consider those facts, they'll only consider the color of my skin. There is a significant difference between being black and being ignorant and being ghetto. Anybody can be ghetto, just turn on Maury for fifteen minutes. Anybody can be ignorant, and anyone who says that someone is less black or talks white or is an Oreo is ignorant.

Just because I prefer showtunes and acoustic rock to rap and hip hop does not mean I am less black. Just because I'm an English major at a school where I am the minority doesn't mean I am less black. Just because I have never been in a serious fight, never used ebonics, don't have WAMO as a preset on my radio...these things don't make me black. The color of my skin does. However, the assumption that these things are what makes me black is what makes you ignorant. I don't think every white person likes country music and banjos and poorly seasoned food. That would make me ignorant.

Obama is considered black. He is well-spoken, well-educated, and the 44th President of the United States of America. What? Just because I'm not the 44th President of the United States of America? Just because I'm not a man?

Which brings me to my final point. This men/women double standard. I never really saw it, but I honestly think it's getting worse the older that I get. Maybe because I'm getting less naive? Who knows. The point is, when is this 1950s housewife mentality going to completely disappear? My stepfather expects my mom to make dinner and then bitches when it's not something he wants (for the record, he's forty years old and capable of making something that he actually likes since he's the world's pickiest eater...including myself).

There was a woman on the Tyra Show today who actually believed that women were only put on this earth to get married and have children. That's it. We are put on this earth for that sole reason. The only reason why Eve existed was for Adam. How does a woman think like that, even in this day and age?

I'm thoroughly disappointed with the state of this country at this point.

In my perfect world, everyone would be allowed to get married if they really wanted to (but again, not a firm believer in that institution), the expression "you are so/not black" would cease to exist, and women would step it up. Is that really so much to ask for?

For such a "progressive" country, we sure are ass backwards. We all have a lot of work to do. We can't dump it all on Barack Obama. We are one of the most closeted country's in the world and I don't understand how, knowing that, Americans can still think they're hot shit and not understand why the world tends to hate us.

America is a mess and if any of us want change, we can't rely solely on the President. We need to step it up and make it happen. NOH8 - and that means all minorities. Turn this country into what it is supposed to be.

"All That's Known" from Spring Awakening; 2006

This is Me

2009-05-14T22:24:00.000-07:00

"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you will join us, and the world will live as one."

John Lennon said that. It sums me up...pretty completely.

I don't really believe in blogging, most of the time, but then again...it seems like a reasonable outlet. Half-finished novels aren't a good outlet given the fact that they end at some point. Even a good series has an end point. Yes, I consider Harry Potter to be a good series...the Twilight series has good intentions, but, alas, falls flat.

I've just turned twenty years old and I'm having a...fifth life crisis. The transition from having -teen tacked onto the end of your age to becoming a person in their twenties is monumental. A new chapter. Not good for someone with Peter Pan syndrome, such as myself.

I am overly critical, yet lazy. I'm annoyingly insecure, yet arrogant. I'm overwhelmingly creative, yet completely unoriginal. I'm extremely sexual, yet virginal. I'm very smart, yet goofy. I'm a shell of walking contradictions, and as I'm finally accepting the fact that...yes, I'm going to have to eventually grow up, I'm finding out who I am. It only took two years in college to figure out that that's what college is really for (you know, besides that education thing that I'm paying 31,000 dollars a year to earn).

I was going to name my blog "Confessions of a College Virgin," but decided against it. Not that I'm not proud (though I am surprised) by the fact, it just gives it an entirely different meaning, though I am one. "Confessions of a Shopaholic" has been used and will probably soon be overused, though I am one. "Confessions of an Aspiring Writer" made it sound like I was hoping someone would read this and publish me, though I am one. However, I'm also a dreamer. I'm naive. I firmly believe in global warming, that something is going to happen on 12/21/2012, and that if I work hard, I will get all that I want in life.

I really hate introductions. I get flustered and feel like I'm really self-centered, which is what I feel about blogging...and tweeting for that matter. Yet somehow, here I am blogging and I, in fact, have a Twitter. The point is, I am a little self-centered, aren't we all?, and I'm also modest and don't take compliments well at all, for that matter.

So, the point of this is, basically, a little self-discovery minus the pettiness that flooded my livejournal, back when those were cool...back when I was a narcissistic, judgmental fifteen (and eighteen) year-old. This should be a grand ol' time. :)

I also really like music. And because of that all of my blog titles are also song titles. I like everything (except metal and country...and a chunk of rap music), focusing primarily on Broadway Cast Recordings, acoustic rock, late 90s bubblegum pop, and all Mandy Moore (an admiration I cannot explain to say the least, in the least). Don't be surprised with the songs you may think you've forgotten about that I manage to dig up for these :) I think it's fun and music is an excellent way to express yourself.

"This is Me" by Dream; 2001