All That's Known

"All they say is, 'Trust in what is written.' Wars are made and somehow that is wisdom. Thought is suspect and money is their idol, and nothing is okay unless it's scripted in their Bible."

So, I've had some time to mull over the fact that California hates a large chunk of the country. That got me thinking about lots of wrongs.

Such as, the intense fight to legalize gay marriage, being "black," and the fact that women are still getting paid less than men.

We'll go in order. Firstly, why is it such a big deal? Sure, the Bible says that lying with man as man lies with woman is an abomination, but does anybody else know beyond that? We shouldn't be eating shrimp or lobster, or wearing fabric woven of two materials or it's considered an abomination. Oh really? Secondly, if you read the Bible that literally, you also believe in slavery and sexism because it is throughout the Bible (based upon the little I have read).

I don't truly, wholeheartedly believe in marriage as an institution as it stands, but I definitely don't know if I would want to be part of an institution that excludes people that are truly in love, but allows people such as Kate Gosselin to get married. California royally screwed up and I am embarrassed at my country that this is even an issue. How do we expect kids to stop thinking it's bad to be gay or to stop using it as a taunt when the government portrays it that way? When we have hicks such as Carrie Prejean or cruel, closeted, overly macho men saying that it is wrong to be gay?

I have so many thoughts on this subject that I'm starting to get flustered. The point that I'm trying to make is that this hate needs to end. Did we not learn anything from Matthew Shepherd? How many innocent people need to die or be mistreated before something is actually done?

My second nagging topic, this mess about "blackness." It truly bothers me that because I use proper grammar, am still a virgin, and I apply myself in school that I'm not considered black. Funny, because if faced with a racist person, they won't consider those facts, they'll only consider the color of my skin. There is a significant difference between being black and being ignorant and being ghetto. Anybody can be ghetto, just turn on Maury for fifteen minutes. Anybody can be ignorant, and anyone who says that someone is less black or talks white or is an Oreo is ignorant.

Just because I prefer showtunes and acoustic rock to rap and hip hop does not mean I am less black. Just because I'm an English major at a school where I am the minority doesn't mean I am less black. Just because I have never been in a serious fight, never used ebonics, don't have WAMO as a preset on my radio...these things don't make me black. The color of my skin does. However, the assumption that these things are what makes me black is what makes you ignorant. I don't think every white person likes country music and banjos and poorly seasoned food. That would make me ignorant.

Obama is considered black. He is well-spoken, well-educated, and the 44th President of the United States of America. What? Just because I'm not the 44th President of the United States of America? Just because I'm not a man?

Which brings me to my final point. This men/women double standard. I never really saw it, but I honestly think it's getting worse the older that I get. Maybe because I'm getting less naive? Who knows. The point is, when is this 1950s housewife mentality going to completely disappear? My stepfather expects my mom to make dinner and then bitches when it's not something he wants (for the record, he's forty years old and capable of making something that he actually likes since he's the world's pickiest eater...including myself).

There was a woman on the Tyra Show today who actually believed that women were only put on this earth to get married and have children. That's it. We are put on this earth for that sole reason. The only reason why Eve existed was for Adam. How does a woman think like that, even in this day and age?

I'm thoroughly disappointed with the state of this country at this point.

In my perfect world, everyone would be allowed to get married if they really wanted to (but again, not a firm believer in that institution), the expression "you are so/not black" would cease to exist, and women would step it up. Is that really so much to ask for?

For such a "progressive" country, we sure are ass backwards. We all have a lot of work to do. We can't dump it all on Barack Obama. We are one of the most closeted country's in the world and I don't understand how, knowing that, Americans can still think they're hot shit and not understand why the world tends to hate us.

America is a mess and if any of us want change, we can't rely solely on the President. We need to step it up and make it happen. NOH8 - and that means all minorities. Turn this country into what it is supposed to be.

"All That's Known" from Spring Awakening; 2006

This is Me

"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you will join us, and the world will live as one."

John Lennon said that. It sums me up...pretty completely.

I don't really believe in blogging, most of the time, but then again...it seems like a reasonable outlet. Half-finished novels aren't a good outlet given the fact that they end at some point. Even a good series has an end point. Yes, I consider Harry Potter to be a good series...the Twilight series has good intentions, but, alas, falls flat.

I've just turned twenty years old and I'm having a...fifth life crisis. The transition from having -teen tacked onto the end of your age to becoming a person in their twenties is monumental. A new chapter. Not good for someone with Peter Pan syndrome, such as myself.

I am overly critical, yet lazy. I'm annoyingly insecure, yet arrogant. I'm overwhelmingly creative, yet completely unoriginal. I'm extremely sexual, yet virginal. I'm very smart, yet goofy. I'm a shell of walking contradictions, and as I'm finally accepting the fact that...yes, I'm going to have to eventually grow up, I'm finding out who I am. It only took two years in college to figure out that that's what college is really for (you know, besides that education thing that I'm paying 31,000 dollars a year to earn).

I was going to name my blog "Confessions of a College Virgin," but decided against it. Not that I'm not proud (though I am surprised) by the fact, it just gives it an entirely different meaning, though I am one. "Confessions of a Shopaholic" has been used and will probably soon be overused, though I am one. "Confessions of an Aspiring Writer" made it sound like I was hoping someone would read this and publish me, though I am one. However, I'm also a dreamer. I'm naive. I firmly believe in global warming, that something is going to happen on 12/21/2012, and that if I work hard, I will get all that I want in life.

I really hate introductions. I get flustered and feel like I'm really self-centered, which is what I feel about blogging...and tweeting for that matter. Yet somehow, here I am blogging and I, in fact, have a Twitter. The point is, I am a little self-centered, aren't we all?, and I'm also modest and don't take compliments well at all, for that matter.

So, the point of this is, basically, a little self-discovery minus the pettiness that flooded my livejournal, back when those were cool...back when I was a narcissistic, judgmental fifteen (and eighteen) year-old. This should be a grand ol' time. :)

I also really like music. And because of that all of my blog titles are also song titles. I like everything (except metal and country...and a chunk of rap music), focusing primarily on Broadway Cast Recordings, acoustic rock, late 90s bubblegum pop, and all Mandy Moore (an admiration I cannot explain to say the least, in the least). Don't be surprised with the songs you may think you've forgotten about that I manage to dig up for these :) I think it's fun and music is an excellent way to express yourself.

"This is Me" by Dream; 2001